To bear with someone is put up with them, to endure, even to suffer! In other words, there may be something about someone that you really wish they would do something about; it really bothers you. It may, in fact, be something that they should do something about in their life; something they should change. Yet, the more you want them to change, the less inclined they seem to be to do so! What can you do in a situation like that? Bear with them — you can’t change anyone, only God can.
Then, there is the matter of forgiveness. Again, since this is someone you have a complaint against, more than likely, it is someone who has wronged you in some way and thus should be seeking forgiveness. That is the right thing for anyone to do who has wronged another, but what if they do not seek forgiveness? What can you do in a situation like that? Forgive them — you can’t change anyone, only God can.
In both cases, it seems like you are having to suffer for someone else’s wrong, but it’s not a matter of what you have to do so much as what you get to do: you get to share with others the forbearance and mercy and love of God. It is the goodness of God that leads men to repentance. You can’t make anyone change and you can’t change them, but you can show them the way to the One who can!
Suddenly, relationships that seemed to be a burden become a blessing, an opportunity for ministry. When you look at it from your own perspective and how you have been treated (or more accurately mistreated), you would naturally think that the thing that would bring you a sense of accomplishment is for the other person to do what is right and make things right with you. But, when you look at it from the Lord’s perspective, you realize that it is not about you getting justice; it is about the other person finding (perhaps through you) the mercy and love and forgiveness of the Lord.
Be patient with others and remember how the Lord has been patient with you. Be forgiving toward others and remember how the Lord has been forgiving toward you. When it comes to relationships and how they are to be handled and whether or not they should even continue, we always have a clear guideline. Just treat others the way Jesus treats you!
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